I've been thinking of what to post on my blog for the past few days... probably mostly to cover up my previous entry lol and I guess only thing I could think of was to write about what I was thinking of doing >_<;;
In a happier thought though, the AstraZeneca azn party on Saturday lightened up my mood since I could actually get to talk to people my age-ish in person. I realized I don't think I can eat excessive amounts of meat... Apparantly a hamburger, a chicken wing, and Sichuan noodles are too much for my stomach to digest. Well and apparantly a small bowl of "wan zi tang [azn meatball soup]" with rice was too much too. Argh. No tennis, no food, this summer sucks D: I blame myself for basically going vegetarian [not on purpose though] throughout the beginning of the summer.
One more month before school starts :D! Oh and my ankle brace came, so I can actually play tennis/do some sports now :D
Monday, July 27, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I want to go back to school and like never come back home again...
The status is self explanatory, though of course I would want to come back home because of my bro, but I am debating whether to return for Thanksgiving and Spring Break now.
Yes I'm in one of those emo moods that I haven't been since high school. Why? Because I'm back home again. Maybe I just can't handle my mom anymore. Maybe I can't handle her words anymore because I've been getting used to college life. Or rather, a life without anyone telilng me everything I'm doing is wrong, a life without every problem in the house blamed on me... well I guess since I'd be the only one in "the house", every problem would be blamed on me... but it's less anyways. If it was a huge mistake I made, and got yelled at, sure it's reasonable, but if I'm getting blamed for every little thing that's happening around the house... I don't know...
She yelled at me from home to work this morning for forgetting to turn off the light in the car. I didn't even turn on the light... she probably turned it on and forgot to turn it off, but of course, I have to maintain my emotionless state and just listen. Except this time... she got pissed off at my being emotionless and not talking back and started yelling about that. I really don't know what I can do or what I can say. Now, I can't even plead the 5th >_<.
I've currently reached the max I can handle right now and therefore is in an emo state. Hopefully, this emo state will go away soon, and won't happen again in a while because the themometer's been reset again. Maybe dramas and games will help. Though the problem with that... she was saying how just because I had gotten my computer back last night, I stopped playing piano. But I haven't played piano for a week and I'm not even wasting her money taking classes, so I don't see why she's pissed off.
I have realized... if I hadn't kept this emotionless state throughout high school, I probably would have committed suicide already. Maybe that's why I'm so messed up as a person. Am I even qualified to be a person? I fit the descriptions of a robot better. I'll probably stay emotionless until I'm out of the house. People have wondered why I'm like this and they try to "fix me" but I'm probably better off/safer staying emotionless. Stop trying until I get my own job/apartment... and maybe even my own life.
I have too many psychological problems. I probably should get a psychiatrist. Except they don't do much, we don't have money, and I or rather, my mom, wouldn't have time to bring me to one either, so in the end, I'm not going to get one. Maybe I just need company. Maybe I'm just lonely and want attention. I want my dad to come back and stay back. I want these two years my dad has left of residency/fellow to pass really quickly. Of course, since I will be waiting for the end of my junior year of college, it's going to come really slowly. Things are always like that. You never seem to get what you want, but rather the opposite. Why does life suck so much. I want to finish college, get into med school, finish med school, get into residency, become a good doctor, and have my own family.
Okay that last paragraph of Lan being extremely idealistic and just reading it voer again... half of those things probably aren't going to happen. Why? Because I'm lazy and don't like to study, so I probably won't get into med school. Argh. I can't seem to do anything right.
I need to go push a button and coverslip some slides. Maybe I'll post some more selfish complaints later.
Oh and my right ankle is still in pain =.=;... Because I'm stupid and went to play soccer with my bro [a month later after I hurt it >_<] and kinda hurt it again.
Yes I'm in one of those emo moods that I haven't been since high school. Why? Because I'm back home again. Maybe I just can't handle my mom anymore. Maybe I can't handle her words anymore because I've been getting used to college life. Or rather, a life without anyone telilng me everything I'm doing is wrong, a life without every problem in the house blamed on me... well I guess since I'd be the only one in "the house", every problem would be blamed on me... but it's less anyways. If it was a huge mistake I made, and got yelled at, sure it's reasonable, but if I'm getting blamed for every little thing that's happening around the house... I don't know...
She yelled at me from home to work this morning for forgetting to turn off the light in the car. I didn't even turn on the light... she probably turned it on and forgot to turn it off, but of course, I have to maintain my emotionless state and just listen. Except this time... she got pissed off at my being emotionless and not talking back and started yelling about that. I really don't know what I can do or what I can say. Now, I can't even plead the 5th >_<.
I've currently reached the max I can handle right now and therefore is in an emo state. Hopefully, this emo state will go away soon, and won't happen again in a while because the themometer's been reset again. Maybe dramas and games will help. Though the problem with that... she was saying how just because I had gotten my computer back last night, I stopped playing piano. But I haven't played piano for a week and I'm not even wasting her money taking classes, so I don't see why she's pissed off.
I have realized... if I hadn't kept this emotionless state throughout high school, I probably would have committed suicide already. Maybe that's why I'm so messed up as a person. Am I even qualified to be a person? I fit the descriptions of a robot better. I'll probably stay emotionless until I'm out of the house. People have wondered why I'm like this and they try to "fix me" but I'm probably better off/safer staying emotionless. Stop trying until I get my own job/apartment... and maybe even my own life.
I have too many psychological problems. I probably should get a psychiatrist. Except they don't do much, we don't have money, and I or rather, my mom, wouldn't have time to bring me to one either, so in the end, I'm not going to get one. Maybe I just need company. Maybe I'm just lonely and want attention. I want my dad to come back and stay back. I want these two years my dad has left of residency/fellow to pass really quickly. Of course, since I will be waiting for the end of my junior year of college, it's going to come really slowly. Things are always like that. You never seem to get what you want, but rather the opposite. Why does life suck so much. I want to finish college, get into med school, finish med school, get into residency, become a good doctor, and have my own family.
Okay that last paragraph of Lan being extremely idealistic and just reading it voer again... half of those things probably aren't going to happen. Why? Because I'm lazy and don't like to study, so I probably won't get into med school. Argh. I can't seem to do anything right.
I need to go push a button and coverslip some slides. Maybe I'll post some more selfish complaints later.
Oh and my right ankle is still in pain =.=;... Because I'm stupid and went to play soccer with my bro [a month later after I hurt it >_<] and kinda hurt it again.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Time Issues...
So it's actually 4:51 right now, while blogger says it's 1:51... so blogger's on Cali time and I just realized it... I wonder how I can change it...........
Schedule [temporary >.<;;;]
So this is the current schedule I have right now and it might change between now and when classes actually start >.<;;;
[oh btw... MY COMPUTER'S COMING BACK TOMORROW :DDDDDDDDDDDD]
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Orgo Fun~
Yeah beacuse of my awesome ability to time things right, I decided to start, like actually start [aka doing next year's homework problems] studying for orgo, right when I actually start getting busy at work. Yay everything works out so well.
My comments about orgo homework? OMG WHY DOES EVERY PROBLEM HAVE A-I T________T... It takes me like a page to do one problem, hence like 10-15mins-ish to do one problem. I have realized my attention span is only about an hour, so I start getting bored after doing four problems... four pages of problems sounds better :D; [Euphemisms ftw >_<]
Oh as an update on my horrendous schedule next year... I emailed my counselor and I'm like "PLZZZZ TAKE MY HOLD OFF, I NEED TO DROP A SCIENCE CLASS T.T" So my counselor took the hold off [the hold as in something that prevents me from registering/dropping courses]. So I dropped Anatomy + Lab for Conversational Chinese and Linguistics [social science cluster hopefully... if I can't do well in linguistics, I'm literally screwed for social science because I suck at history more and history requires like 15page essays and like 6 books to read... I'm not going to have enough time for that >_<]
So now... I'm taking 20,5 credits: Animal Behavior [4.5 credits: extra 0.5 because I'm taking it with the writing portion for my W class requirements], Molecular Genetics [4 credits], Molecular Genetics Lab [1 credit], Organic Chemistry [4 credits], Organic Chemistry Lab [1 credit], Linguistics [4 credits], Conversational Chinese [2 credits].
4.5+5+1+4+1+4+2 = 9.5+5+7 = 14.5+7 = what?...
OH I wrote 5 credits for genetics instead of four
Attempt number 2:
4.5+4+1+4+1+4+2 = 8.5+5+7 = 13.5+7 = 20.5
w00t I can still add despite like more than a year without math :D
My comments about orgo homework? OMG WHY DOES EVERY PROBLEM HAVE A-I T________T... It takes me like a page to do one problem, hence like 10-15mins-ish to do one problem. I have realized my attention span is only about an hour, so I start getting bored after doing four problems... four pages of problems sounds better :D; [Euphemisms ftw >_<]
Oh as an update on my horrendous schedule next year... I emailed my counselor and I'm like "PLZZZZ TAKE MY HOLD OFF, I NEED TO DROP A SCIENCE CLASS T.T" So my counselor took the hold off [the hold as in something that prevents me from registering/dropping courses]. So I dropped Anatomy + Lab for Conversational Chinese and Linguistics [social science cluster hopefully... if I can't do well in linguistics, I'm literally screwed for social science because I suck at history more and history requires like 15page essays and like 6 books to read... I'm not going to have enough time for that >_<]
So now... I'm taking 20,5 credits: Animal Behavior [4.5 credits: extra 0.5 because I'm taking it with the writing portion for my W class requirements], Molecular Genetics [4 credits], Molecular Genetics Lab [1 credit], Organic Chemistry [4 credits], Organic Chemistry Lab [1 credit], Linguistics [4 credits], Conversational Chinese [2 credits].
4.5+5+1+4+1+4+2 = 9.5+5+7 = 14.5+7 = what?...
OH I wrote 5 credits for genetics instead of four
Attempt number 2:
4.5+4+1+4+1+4+2 = 8.5+5+7 = 13.5+7 = 20.5
w00t I can still add despite like more than a year without math :D
Friday, July 10, 2009
My Opinion on Social Science
I HATE SOCIAL SCIENCE AND ITS CLASSES WITH A PASSION >:[ ALSDKFJALSDKFJASLD;KFJAKL; YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE AND COLLEGE CAREER RIGHT NOW >:(
Getting busy now ><;
I've actually been given projects to work on >_<;; so I'm getting busy now... Though argh this morning... I must've ran up/down the stairs four times within an hour time because of the stupid Ventana machine.
So I started a run last night, or rather I delayed it to start at 7:30 this morning, and I was supposed to put the primer on at 9:00 but when I went up at 9:10 [yeah intense traffic this morning... I left the house at 8:20... It took us like 40mins to drive like ... 7miles...] to put the primer on and then I see that the Run Completion bar on top of the screen said 0% and that I was signed off. I was like wtf why'd that happen D: Maybe I made a mistake in the start time! So I went to get my supervisor. She came up and she's like wtf, so we started the run for the second time, skipping the deparafinization portion of the run because the tissues looked deparafinized after we opened the machine to check the slides.
I was supposed to put the primer on at 10:50, so at 10:40, I went up and 'lo and behold, the run completion was 0% AGAIN. I ran downstairs from the lab [since my lab and office are on different floors] and went to bother my superviser AGAIN. This time, we noticed a statement saying something about the EZPrep. My azn supervisor then asked my white supervisor what this was, and she was also like wtf. So my azn supervisor thought maybe the pressure was wrong or something with the EZPrep, so she took that out, and put it back in again. After, we started the run once again.
Guess what happened? So after like 13mins, the machine started beeping saying there was something wrong with the EZPrep. By now, my azn supervisor was like "okay this experiment is like fail bcause we've run it too many times, so now let's keep running it to try to get the machine to work."
This time, we filled the EZPrep more, since it was low [even though the machine said there was enough] and started the run AGAIN. We took out the deparafinization and the cell conditioning steps for this run. This time, I literally sat there for 35 mins watching the machine, making sure nothing happens again. So after it got past the EZPrep stage, I went downstairs to ask my supervisor what to do with the slides and she told me to just stop the run and throw them away, since they're probably bad by now anyways. She said we'll just have to rerun this next Wednesday, because my white supervisor needed to use it Monday and Tuesday.
Yeah so that was my morning until like 11:00am. After that... my azn supervisor gave me this huge list of ID numbers of something and input them into Spectrum database... and I've only finish one outta four pages so far because it's so freaking long and tedious. Arggggggggggg I wanna go home and sleep T_____T...
I doubt I'm going home anytime soon because my mom hasn't finished her work yet, but she has a volleyball tournament [company tournament]at 2pm [1 min from now]... then she needs to finish her huge load of work... [why does she even play if she has so much to do >_<;;;?]
So I started a run last night, or rather I delayed it to start at 7:30 this morning, and I was supposed to put the primer on at 9:00 but when I went up at 9:10 [yeah intense traffic this morning... I left the house at 8:20... It took us like 40mins to drive like ... 7miles...] to put the primer on and then I see that the Run Completion bar on top of the screen said 0% and that I was signed off. I was like wtf why'd that happen D: Maybe I made a mistake in the start time! So I went to get my supervisor. She came up and she's like wtf, so we started the run for the second time, skipping the deparafinization portion of the run because the tissues looked deparafinized after we opened the machine to check the slides.
I was supposed to put the primer on at 10:50, so at 10:40, I went up and 'lo and behold, the run completion was 0% AGAIN. I ran downstairs from the lab [since my lab and office are on different floors] and went to bother my superviser AGAIN. This time, we noticed a statement saying something about the EZPrep. My azn supervisor then asked my white supervisor what this was, and she was also like wtf. So my azn supervisor thought maybe the pressure was wrong or something with the EZPrep, so she took that out, and put it back in again. After, we started the run once again.
Guess what happened? So after like 13mins, the machine started beeping saying there was something wrong with the EZPrep. By now, my azn supervisor was like "okay this experiment is like fail bcause we've run it too many times, so now let's keep running it to try to get the machine to work."
This time, we filled the EZPrep more, since it was low [even though the machine said there was enough] and started the run AGAIN. We took out the deparafinization and the cell conditioning steps for this run. This time, I literally sat there for 35 mins watching the machine, making sure nothing happens again. So after it got past the EZPrep stage, I went downstairs to ask my supervisor what to do with the slides and she told me to just stop the run and throw them away, since they're probably bad by now anyways. She said we'll just have to rerun this next Wednesday, because my white supervisor needed to use it Monday and Tuesday.
Yeah so that was my morning until like 11:00am. After that... my azn supervisor gave me this huge list of ID numbers of something and input them into Spectrum database... and I've only finish one outta four pages so far because it's so freaking long and tedious. Arggggggggggg I wanna go home and sleep T_____T...
I doubt I'm going home anytime soon because my mom hasn't finished her work yet, but she has a volleyball tournament [company tournament]at 2pm [1 min from now]... then she needs to finish her huge load of work... [why does she even play if she has so much to do >_<;;;?]
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