I changed my background quite a bit because the black was starting to annoy me. Maybe this change symbolizes the change from depressed/gloomy me to a lot happier me compared to high school, so it would be a change for the better, I guess [Yes, I disagree with Chinua Achebe's book Things Fall Apart. Change is for the better!].
People change a lot in college and I guess I've changed a bit, hopefully matured a bit compared to before. Of course I'm hoping to change myself even more because even though I've gotten more open with people and I've attained the ability to talk to someone seriously without sarcasm or attempting to crack a joke every few seconds, I'm still my awkward self.
That's the part, I think, that needs to change the most... I need to learn how to communicate with people without being too "shy". I realize I need to get out of my comfort zone, which consists mostly of Chinese people my age and maybe even start talking to white people some day :O. I've never felt comfortable making what I thought a "fake conversation" with people, like asking people about themselves when I know I really don't care about the answer. Some times, I need to tell myself to pretend to care for the sake of the other person, but I can't help feeling like I'm lying to them and I'm hiding something from them. You know, those conversation starters like "How's the weather?", "How've you been?", "I like your [insert article of clothing]" sort of things. I especially can't see myself doing the last one. I've been trying to attempt conversations like "What've you been doing over summer?" but usually people answer with just "nothing" and the conversation goes nowhere and once again, I am at loss for words. I'm always amazed at how my mom can be one person at work and a completely different person at home. It annoys me, sure, to hide yourself from others, but now I think some times this is necessary to survive in this community. Being too honest is a bad thing now, but I still have this thing called guilt that keeps reminding me to be honest and it's hard to just ignore it. Maybe I'm just too lazy to do anything to change myself. I need to change that too. I've been answering too many "Why" questions with "Cuz I'm lazy" and I realize that's just an excuse to not do something. I've been forcing myself to not be lazy and actually maybe cleaning the house, doing the laundry, even when my parents don't tell me to do those things. It's hard to break out of those lazy habits of just sitting in bed with my laptop on my knees and watching dramas, chatting online, playing games all day, and never leaving my room [which I did during most of the Sundays at Rochester]. I was even too lazy to get out to buy some food... I had a bag of chips and a bowl of ramen the entire day Sunday. I've been trying to get out more and playing tennis every day [Sorry about bothering people about tennis like every day, but I really do need to get outside more and run around/enjoy nature more, plus tennis is awesome <3].
Next thing I should change is my study habit. I will attempt to try in school and see how that works out. Studying a lot for me in school is like sitting down for one hour and focusing for one hour. I don't understand how people [-cough- Linda -cough-] can lock themselves every night and study for like 6hours straight, sleep at 4/5am and wake up at 10am... I am amazed at people who are able to do that every single day... If I put in even a quarter of the effort they do, I'll feel proud. Right now, I'm putting in like an hour a week... while they're putting in around 40hours a week... next semester's schedule will be busier and hopefully I'll be able to manage my time well, along with cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping. Hopefully I'll spend less time watching dramas, playing games, chatting online, and spend those hours studying, playing sports [hopefully I'll have enough time for badminton and tennis next semester] and going outside more and hanging around with real people rather than just talking to them online.
Yeah so those are my reflections and what I think I should do in the future. I'm currently waiting for my manager to get his air condition fixed. He isn't sure how long it's going to take so I'm just waiting for him. He had to drive all the way back home and he says it's around a 30min drive without traffic and he left at like 11:30, so we'll see. AZ has been great. Working in chemistry made this summer go by really fast. I was just thinking, only four more weeks before my job here ends and only four more weeks before I hit two decades, five or six more weeks before I'm back at school and back at that other life in college with no restraints and freedom. But is it really freedom? With courses, work, and MCATs, I don't think it'll be too much different from now control wise, I just need to exercise some self control in order to carry out my future plans. That's it for now, I'll hopefully update this blog a bit more than I have been.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Grease
So I forgot to advertise on this blog about the musical by LYST [Lexington Youth Summer Theater] which my bro was in. He wasn't a main part but w/e he said he still had lots of fun. I went to watch it Saturday and it was pretty good. These kids are pretty good at singing and acting...
Well, here's my bro's banner/advertisement:
[Christopher Wang all the way on the right side :D]
There are like no asians in these things... He's the only Asian kid in his group. I saw three asians total: my bro, Alina's sister, and another azn kid I don't know
Well, here's my bro's banner/advertisement:
[Christopher Wang all the way on the right side :D]
There are like no asians in these things... He's the only Asian kid in his group. I saw three asians total: my bro, Alina's sister, and another azn kid I don't know
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Organic Chemistry at AstraZeneca?
I haven't posted in a while because I've been busy with work... It's actually a lot more interesting working in Chemistry this year as an Intern compared to Biology. Sure it's so much more tiring [I'm in the lab 6/8hrs of the day while last year, I was in the like maybe 1/8hrs of the day >_<.] but it's quite interesting... or at least so far. I feel like things might start getting repetitive again because a lot of the techniques are the same, but in another way, it's not really repetitive because you need to figure out different ways to deal with each compound. I went to my first chemistry meeting today... but didn't understand half of what was going on. So many pharmaceutical company terms like PD, BID, MTD, etc. They're like all abbreviations... I could probably figure out what things meant if they said everything out loud, but hey... people are getting lazier and lazier.
Speaking of lazier... I haven't read my MCAT book in a while >_< and I had wanted to get through a chp a day at first... yeah that's not happening at all. Work is tiring me out and mom makes me go everywhere with her these days so I don't have much time to do what I want D:.
Okay, I'm going to go watch Wo Ai Hei Se Hui Bang Bang Tang now. I'm interested in the new people, esp Teddy. I wonder if they'll be on this one...
Speaking of lazier... I haven't read my MCAT book in a while >_< and I had wanted to get through a chp a day at first... yeah that's not happening at all. Work is tiring me out and mom makes me go everywhere with her these days so I don't have much time to do what I want D:.
Okay, I'm going to go watch Wo Ai Hei Se Hui Bang Bang Tang now. I'm interested in the new people, esp Teddy. I wonder if they'll be on this one...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Haven't posted "in foreva"
So I made a formspring a few days ago [] because I thought answering some questions would let me reflect on some things and maybe get to know myself better through questions... Any interesting questions usually get me thinking about some things. So I figured I should learn a bit more about myself and created one. Also, that's probably why I decided to post because I just got a question on formspring about an hour ago that asked "how come you haven't updated your blog in foreva?" so I guess I'll update it [btw I'm pretty sure I know who asked this based on the spelling of "forever"]
I haven't posted in a while because this semester has been kinda bad so far especially orgo and biochem. I haven't done my routine "what do I think about my teachers" post yet, so I guess I'll do a quick one here.
Linguistics: Paauw [I had to look at the syllabus to figure out how to spell his name]
The class is actually pretty interesting so far and he really loves the subject so he's extremely enthusiastic in this class. I would pay attention more if he didn't just read off the slides and the posted the slides up later and if I didn't have other more interesting things to do in class [Like writing this blog... he's talking about Normans and Vikings right now... something about the history of English...] but I guess this is a nice relaxing class where I can do whatever I want and still do generally okay in the class. This is probably the only class I'm not failing right now... because it's my only non-science class.
Oh how to argue against linguists: "Well in my idiolect... "
lol right now he's talking about "It's OK to murder people you don't like" he's like technically... that's linguistically correct... but not really morally...
Physiology: Dietsche [Yes I had to look this spelling up too in the blackboard site...]
Dietsche is a funny guy... He says the randomest things and goes on random rants during class. I remember the first two classes, he was supposedly talking about the Scientific Method [is a way to solve a problem~ (7th grade Mr. Waldeck made us listen to that song...)] but he ended up going on a rant about how aliens can't possibly be seen on earth. He says if they have high enough technology as to come to earth, then we wouldn't calling them aliens, we'd be worshiping them like gods. Then he says aliens can probably bend light too so we can't see them... "IF YOU'RE IN HERE, YOU BETTER BE AUDITING!" Aside from the rants though, he's a bit boring because he just stands up there and talks, since we're in lower strong and we don't really have a board, so I need to record lecture.
Organic Chemistry: Frontier
Frontier's an awesome teacher and she's like young so she can relate. Like today in class, she said for us not to worry too much about our grades because we still have ~75% of our grade left, since the final's worth 50%. She says as long as you do well on the final, you should be fine in the class because she said when she was in college, she failed her 3 tests, but got one of the top scores in the class. She still ended up with a B in orgo and was really pissed off about that, so she's going to be different. That made me feel so much better because I'm like failing the course right now and her saying that gives me some hope...
Biochemistry: Culver
Everyone seems to hate her except I don't mind her teaching too much, it's just her grading. I have no idea why she takes points off. Someone in my workshop asked what we needed to know for the test and my TA literally said "Everything". I'm probably failing this class the most right now because she doesn't drop anything and the first test was really really bad.
I guess this post ended up being a bit long instead of a short post... I guess I'll try to update more because now I have formspring to inspire me and give me ideas to write/rant about...
I haven't posted in a while because this semester has been kinda bad so far especially orgo and biochem. I haven't done my routine "what do I think about my teachers" post yet, so I guess I'll do a quick one here.
Linguistics: Paauw [I had to look at the syllabus to figure out how to spell his name]
The class is actually pretty interesting so far and he really loves the subject so he's extremely enthusiastic in this class. I would pay attention more if he didn't just read off the slides and the posted the slides up later and if I didn't have other more interesting things to do in class [Like writing this blog... he's talking about Normans and Vikings right now... something about the history of English...] but I guess this is a nice relaxing class where I can do whatever I want and still do generally okay in the class. This is probably the only class I'm not failing right now... because it's my only non-science class.
Oh how to argue against linguists: "Well in my idiolect... "
lol right now he's talking about "It's OK to murder people you don't like" he's like technically... that's linguistically correct... but not really morally...
Physiology: Dietsche [Yes I had to look this spelling up too in the blackboard site...]
Dietsche is a funny guy... He says the randomest things and goes on random rants during class. I remember the first two classes, he was supposedly talking about the Scientific Method [is a way to solve a problem~ (7th grade Mr. Waldeck made us listen to that song...)] but he ended up going on a rant about how aliens can't possibly be seen on earth. He says if they have high enough technology as to come to earth, then we wouldn't calling them aliens, we'd be worshiping them like gods. Then he says aliens can probably bend light too so we can't see them... "IF YOU'RE IN HERE, YOU BETTER BE AUDITING!" Aside from the rants though, he's a bit boring because he just stands up there and talks, since we're in lower strong and we don't really have a board, so I need to record lecture.
Organic Chemistry: Frontier
Frontier's an awesome teacher and she's like young so she can relate. Like today in class, she said for us not to worry too much about our grades because we still have ~75% of our grade left, since the final's worth 50%. She says as long as you do well on the final, you should be fine in the class because she said when she was in college, she failed her 3 tests, but got one of the top scores in the class. She still ended up with a B in orgo and was really pissed off about that, so she's going to be different. That made me feel so much better because I'm like failing the course right now and her saying that gives me some hope...
Biochemistry: Culver
Everyone seems to hate her except I don't mind her teaching too much, it's just her grading. I have no idea why she takes points off. Someone in my workshop asked what we needed to know for the test and my TA literally said "Everything". I'm probably failing this class the most right now because she doesn't drop anything and the first test was really really bad.
I guess this post ended up being a bit long instead of a short post... I guess I'll try to update more because now I have formspring to inspire me and give me ideas to write/rant about...
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Years! 新年快乐！
2010年好！哇，我好长时间不在我的部落各上写东西了。不知道为什么，我特想用中文写。。。像那种台湾艺人在他们的部落各上写一样。。。我应该用繁体字写：P
上个学期的考试成绩都出来了。。。考得不好T___T 我的GPA降了很多，恐怕进不去医学院了。。。 下个学期的课早就选好了。 我的星期二现在没有课^___^ 最早的课还是10:00.
我今年要的目标是。。。要考好成绩，下个学期去医院帮忙，还要夏天挣很多钱。 这三件事可能是目前最重要的三个目标，没准儿较多点朋友？不要打那么多的牌？
哦，我这几天又回去玩游戏，跟TJ和和晨晨玩儿。我觉得这张照片很可爱，所以要post在这上面。
左边是TJ，中间是我，右边是晨晨。
好，我不知道还要写什么了，下次见,拜拜~
上个学期的考试成绩都出来了。。。考得不好T___T 我的GPA降了很多，恐怕进不去医学院了。。。 下个学期的课早就选好了。 我的星期二现在没有课^___^ 最早的课还是10:00.
我今年要的目标是。。。要考好成绩，下个学期去医院帮忙，还要夏天挣很多钱。 这三件事可能是目前最重要的三个目标，没准儿较多点朋友？不要打那么多的牌？
哦，我这几天又回去玩游戏，跟TJ和和晨晨玩儿。我觉得这张照片很可爱，所以要post在这上面。
左边是TJ，中间是我，右边是晨晨。
好，我不知道还要写什么了，下次见,拜拜~
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
More tests
Well, for the good news, I got 100% on my linguistics test :D yay! Bad news... I have my second orgo test next Thursday, and I haven't been to class in a while and I have genetics the Tuesday after orgo. Ahhh I'm so screwed. Speaking of screwed, I totally forgot I had an advisor's meeting today, and completely missed it. Now my advisor's gonna hate me ><; Must go apologize now.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Updatesss
So I just finished my first Linguistics test a few mins ago [yes only took me ~35mins] but it was only like 7 questions so not that bad. I probably spent around 2-3hrs doing the study questions... ><;; I have genetics recitation at 3:25 so I have a few mins before class starts, so I'll update, since I just got back my Genetics test this morning. Yeah this test wasn't so happy. I failed D: 75.5% ><; At least it's a scaled B+ and since I did well on the first test... I have a 85.1% average in the class right now... barely an A, since 85% is an A in this course. I need to get a 90% on my next genetics test now, and like a 90% on the final ><; I hate being at the border between an A and A- because I always end up failing the final and dropping to the lower or, if not even lower one. I hope I didn't fail the linguistics test...
I have a Chinese presentation tomorrow on 中国古代神话故事, that I just started basically yesterday and that I'm really screwed for because I'm supposed to memorize everything I'm going to say, so yeah... that's not happening.
On the happier note though, I don't have tests next week :DDDDD My next exam is 11/05/09, which is my second orgo exam. I should start studying for that now because I have no idea what's going on in orgo right now. I also should catch up in Genetics because my next genetics test is 11/10 ><;
I think I'll go play bridge now, then go to recitation. Hopefully, I'll work on my mandarin presentation after recitation and then go to badminton at 6.
I have a Chinese presentation tomorrow on 中国古代神话故事, that I just started basically yesterday and that I'm really screwed for because I'm supposed to memorize everything I'm going to say, so yeah... that's not happening.
On the happier note though, I don't have tests next week :DDDDD My next exam is 11/05/09, which is my second orgo exam. I should start studying for that now because I have no idea what's going on in orgo right now. I also should catch up in Genetics because my next genetics test is 11/10 ><;
I think I'll go play bridge now, then go to recitation. Hopefully, I'll work on my mandarin presentation after recitation and then go to badminton at 6.
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